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Archive for April, 2009

When Grief Goes Wrong

My dear mum Ethel did not manage well at all after my dad Bob died when my brother and I were aged 8 and 5. Although we were all absolutely griefstricken mum’s grief was especially intense prolonged and tragic. In the immediate days following mum was incapable of caring for us and allowed neighbours to do so. Perhaps this is understandable she may have thought it best to protect us from her grief.

In the weeks following she suffered facial palsy where one side of her face became paralysed. In the following years she suffered a type of emotional palsy where she found it hard to express any affection to her sons. Perhaps if she had allowed herself to feel even positive emotions the pain would have been unbearable.

You can put your tissues away now. Things did eventually improve but it took some years. But this story prompts the question ‘How do you know when grief is going wrong?’ There are a number of ways you can do so.

The first is to notice that someone is not moving through their grief. Here I want to clarify that there are some losses you simply never ‘get over’. But there is often a sense by people with problematic grief that they are ‘stuck’.

Professor James Worden suggests that there are four stages people need to go through in coming to terms with their grief. The first is to accept the reality of their loss. Secondly people have to find a way of expressing their pain that is appropriate for them. Some do so by crying and talking with their support people. Others express their pain through rituals such as visiting the cemetery or talking to their loved one who had died. Some do so through physical activity perhaps working harder or through exercise.

The third stage according to Worden is to overcome the barriers to moving forward with their life. In the case of loss associated with injury it could be managing their pain or changing what they do for a living. Fourthly people need to find an emotional place for the loss that allows them to continue to live their life well. They still feel sadness at different times but they are still able to live love and laugh.

Although people grieve in different ways often at a different pace and to different intensities if people become stuck at one of the early stages this is a sign that the grief may well have become complicated.

Another sign of problematic grief is a delayed grief reaction. Perhaps people were not able to grieve properly at the time of their loss due to having to hold it together for the sake of others or the extent of their losses not being fully appreciated until later. However a more recent event triggers a strong grief response from the earlier loss. In my counselling practice I often saw people coming to terms with losses associated with their childhood abuse when they have young children themselves.

People can also have exaggerated grief reactions where the pain of their loss is expressed through depression anxiety or problematic alcohol or drug use. When such conditions are present after someone has suffered a major loss chances are the real problem is the grief not so much how it is coming out. But if a clinical condition such as depression is present this needs to be addressed as well.

Some people even have what is called masked grief reactions where they experience similar symptoms to a person who has died or imitate the deceased in other ways. One widow I know of developed similar heart problems to her husband who had died even though there was no diagnosable condition.

There are also special types of loss such as the death of a child a family member’s suicide the murder of a loved one that increases the likelihood of problematic grief. For example the police investigation the absence of a body other people’s lack of support or ongoing court actions can make what is an unimaginable loss much much harder to deal with.

About the writer:  About the Author: Ken Warren is Australia’s leading speaker on Difficult People. Ken can show you how to turn difficult customers and coworkers into pussycats make great teams even better and achieve better outcomes with challenging clients. Check out his free resources at Positive People Solutions.

What Happens If I Get Retrenched

The world is spinning. Interest rates are rising and the cost of borrowing working and living is increasing. Some companies will not be able to support the increased costs that they are now experiencing with the result that they will start to trim staff members.

What happens if you find yourself on that dreaded retrenchment list?

First of all do not panic. You are not the first and you will not be the last that this has happened to.

1. Stake Stock
   You should take stock immediately and consider your options. Some you will want to get back into the work place via another job. Others of your will want to start a business. Others will want to take some time out and chill before contracting or deciding to take a completely different change say buying a business joining a consulting firm or contracting for a while.
2. Check the finances
   Consider your financial situation and work out what you can do to minimise your expenditure during the period whilst you are not earning. You may well have got a retrenchment package if you did use it wisely. Prepare a budget and work out how long you have got before the money runs out. If you plan to start a business you should start to think about your plan and budget for the business accordingly.
3. Ask for Outplacement help
   In any case if you are one of the senior people in the firm you should ask the firm to pay for an Outplacement Process. That will help you to get your head around your new circumstances. Then take time to work the process and get as much from it as you can. Under the Australian HR rules now the firm has to treat you fairly and give you an appropriate amount of notice depending on your contract. If you are planning to go for a next job then prepare your CV.
4. Refine your business market research
   However assuming that you actually would like to us the opportunity of being retrenched to start a business then this is a good time to refine the research that you have done previously. Make a list and research the groups of customers that would have an interest in your new business offering.
5. Start the promoting the business process
   Prepare your Offer. Be clear about what it is that people will be getting from you and how much they will have to pay. Be very clear about the benefits that they will experience. Go and talk to your target customers. Prepare your 30 second pitch. You will notice here that there are many similarities with finding a job the biggest of which is that you have to become very good at explaining why they should pick you. Once you have confirmed that you know what you will be selling to whom then you will need to be clear about what else you have to get right and what help you need because you do not have those skills. If you can address those points early on you will have a better prospect of deciding if your new business idea has got any chance of being successful or not.
6. Treat being director of your new business as your new job
   Then be prepared to work at it. You have to give it a go. Do it in professional manner and be consistent about how you go about things will ultimately give you a higher chance of success.

About the writer:nbsp;nbsp;Managing Director Success Enterprises Consulting Pty Ltd

Stephen became an Australian Citizen on Australia Day 2008. He owns and runs Success Enterprises Consulting Pty Ltd an independent Strategy Consulting firm which helps directors with Strategy and Business Planning to improve and grow their businesses.

Born in UK he studied engineering finance and management culminating in an MBA from one of Europes best MBA schools Cranfield.

Stephen started his career with Thorn EMI Ferguson and moved in 1990 to Ford Motor Company where for 11 years he held various engineering sales and marketing roles in creating wealth. On completing his MBA he was promoted into the commercial side of the business where he helped the US3bn turnover European components business to grow and win new profitable business.

In 2001 at RAC plc a company similar but four times larger than RACV as Corporate Strategy Manager he helped grow the business including working on the acquisition of a 112m A280m windscreen company.

As a Strategy Consultant since 2003 Stephen has helped clients to save many hundreds of millions of dollars by avoiding poor takeovers to learn how to double turnover; to win Federal Government Grants from business plans he wrote; and to grow their businesses.

In 2008 he was elected as a VP of the Victorian Chapter of the Institute of Management Consultants.
a.Have a look at Anderson Gray Worldwide http://www.andersongray.com

Toronto Team Building: Revolutionizing Corporate Relations

The aspect of team building helps primarily to strengthen the relations and terms between the corporate employees who not only learn the art of cooperation and coordination with each other but also realize each others strengths and weakness as a team. The team building activities also help to materialize a promising team having able team members always at their feet for new ventures. The activities of self assessment in groups promote team realization regarding their positive and negative traits. They can also work towards improving themselves and can also try to eliminate the weaker members if needed.

In Toronto your business meeting can transform into a learning experience with Toronto team building activities. Among the wide range of Toronto team building activities the most popular themes is chasing activity crime investigation activities James Bond team building activity modeled on a popular TV series and lastly the team building challenge amidst greenery.

The chasing activities are an exceptional team building experiences merging communication ability preparation tactic cooperation and a competition in opposition to the clock. Anybody can contribute and participate as this team building activity doesnt require the players to have any special skills. The bonding that the players experience during these games is just exceptional and is indeed a memorable experience. These chasing activities are conducted in a number of different locations and so you can also enjoy sightseeing along side enjoying the Toronto team building activities.

Crime investigation is an equally interesting activity for the corporate employees to improve their bonds and understanding. Toronto team building activity gives you a great opportunity to use your creativity and solve crime cases and enjoy coordinating with your colleagues. This activity will also help improve interaction among your colleagues and not to mention their navigational abilities that will be revealed from these experiences. The teams will also get the opportunity to uncover the various clues to reveal the real culprit.

The ones who are interested in James Bond movies will surely play his role during the Toronto team building activity. The James Bond agents get the opportunity to reflect on their intelligence and to reveal the real mystery from the clues given to them during the team building activity.

Team members who are part of the same group can meet to do confidence building measures to increase the unity and teamwork within the unit. For Toronto Team Building there are plenty of nice places where this can be done.

About the writer:  John Peterson has been contributing to leading magazines for the past 10 years. He’s also an accredited researcher on the subject for leading research institutes in the US.